You walk into an Italian restaurant and people throw meatballs at you.

You wonder if you should use paper anymore since paper comes from trees and trees are homes for all the little birdies.

You wonder about wooden pencils for the same reason.

And toothpicks.

You cut class instead of frogs, and you flunked Biology, so now you have to take it again, but you'll just do the same thing...

You pray for the soul of every bug that splatters on your windshield.

You feel like a spy in the meat section of the grocery store.

You wonder about the living conditions on Noah's ark.

When asked if you would rather run over a handicapped child in the middle of the road or swerve and hit a dog...

You yelled at Grandma last Christmas for knitting you a real wool sweater.

Instead of tasty cheeseburgers, you only see bloody, rotting cow corpses.

You hate it when people refer to their companion animal as a "pet."

You try to organize sit-ins at your local KFC.

You steal childrens' pets and "set them free."

You are no longer allowed in the state of Texas.

Around the holidays, you tell children the story of Rudolph and the Eight Abused and Enslaved Little Reindeer.

Your best friend actually is a dog.

You've ever sat naked in a cage on the sidewalk outside a pet store.